stuck in second gear.

at my age, i know i should think further.

i have been doing that since 08.

unfortunately, i cant bear to leave her just yet.

because i know,

deep down inside,

she wants to believe in him.

and i simply dont.

i feel very much the first born now.

with the second born's attitude of course.

the future seems undoubtably vague to me.

i shall hold on to her.

for as long as i can.

to the point i dont feel needed anymore.

what a feeling to feel.